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Thoughts Of Suicide

Confession: March 24th was going to be the end for me. Months with no car, pain, painful treatments, meds screwed up, isolated, low on cash...

Thursday, December 24, 2015

Women are Friends...Until a Man Walks in

Here on Christmas Eve, I'm told I no longer be friends with Cathey...are you ready for the reason??
Cathey has a kind and wonderful heart...God knows she's had her share of abusive relationships, loneliness and what have you. So I shouldn't have been surprised when it came down between Brad and me...and I was "unfriended" over the phone.
See, Cathey and I met at church. We (I thought) were working on a nice friendship when her ex-boyfriend's 34 year old son moved in with her. Now, as long as I supplied the car, money and even...the 'smoke' I was always welcome in her home.
"It's my home. You're my best friend...you're always welcome in my home." Then Brad moved himself and his latest girlfriend in on Cathey which suddenly made my friendship "unnecessary."
In fact, Brad blames me for not being able to keep this girlfriend living in his tiny bedroom.
First of all, that lie kept being repeated, "We're friends" he said, "we'll always be friends." Then his girlfriend told him she was going back to grandma's because I made her uncomfortable. Soooo?
Not only could I not believe he'd do me like this...why wouldn't he?
He's 34 years old, chooses not to learn to read or write, has no real job, a felon, has plenty of access to weed, travels from woman to woman to 'let' them take care of him but I just saw him as a guy. Looks like there were just too many queens in Cathey's beehive so she told me essentially our friendship had always been about a ride, money and companionship.
Since I have only one of the required elements needed to be her friend---I'm out.
She also told me that I had to stay away from her place because Brad might "go off" and destroy her home if we remain friends. She's cutting me out so Brad won't show off that 'evil temper' he tends to brag about and destroy her home.
All it does is confirm what a liar Cathey is. She doesn't want anyone coming between her prospective dick--even ME that girl that was 'always welcome' in her home. Yeah, we're friends alright---letting me give her a ride, letting me give her some money and smoke--we're groovy. No more.
I just can not believe that she is using fear to keep me way from "my 2nd home" because Brad might lose his temper.
This is all on me. I wanted Cathey to be my friend and she had me convinced I was. "Through thick and thin" she'd spew but I knew better...a little too late.
So, Brad's gf went home to Granny's supposedly because I made her uncomfortable, leaving Cathey so insecure and desperate to hang on to Brad that she'll not allow me in her home... I might just be competition. Wow! 
Her timing was excellent. Here it is Christmas Eve and I won't be getting any gifts from her or going to her Christmas dinner because of Brad. "I just can't have him being mad and tearing up my home" so I get the boot!
 I'll just hold onto her gift until "Big Bad Brad" isn't home.
Or forget them. Why not?  They were only too eager to get rid of me!!
Grandma always said, "Women are friends ...Until a man walks in."
You're right again, Grandmother. RIP

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