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Thoughts Of Suicide

Confession: March 24th was going to be the end for me. Months with no car, pain, painful treatments, meds screwed up, isolated, low on cash...

Monday, May 30, 2016

Law & Order CPU (Cell Phone Unit)

Pilot: One sister accuses the other of destroying "Nana's" cell phone. (I don't know how I would accurately write that well-known set of tones loyal viewers hear when an episode of 'L & O' starts.)

Final Scene: Summations

D.A.: "Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I'll be brief. The defendant confessed to the crime so therefore, you must come back with a "Guilty" verdict.  Thank you."

Defense: "Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, this case isn't the 'crime, confession, guilty' one the D.A. would have you believe it is. This goes deeper. This case is one that is as old as Cain and Able. Jealousy, manipulation and destruction.
The facts are these. Nana's phone was connected to the charger and was lying on the floor. About an hour later, Nana went to pick up the phone and found it disconnected from the charger and wet, as the prosecution's star witness, Miss Julie Reins said. But what Miss Reins didn't say was that the phone was lying right next to the charger and not reconnected. What does this mean? First, it means that someone had disconnected the phone, gotten it wet and placed it on the floor beside the charger without reconnecting because they knew what might happen if they plugged in a wet phone. The defendant isn't capable of knowing such consequences.
For my client to have committed this crime, she would've had to disconnect the phone, throw it into the toilet--as her accuser claims--retrieve it and carefully lay it next to the still plugged in charger's prong from which she had supposedly taken it. Impossible. Why? Because my client was in fact. in the laundry room with Nana while this crime was being committed. Oh, but my client confessed. Yes, she did. Let's go over her confession.
"Julie: Did you throw Nana's phone in the toilet?"
"The defendant, Zaya Reins: Yeah."
"Julie: Did you mean to throw Nana's phone in the toilet?"
"Zaya: Yeah."   But ladies and gentlemen, you didn't hear the rest of my client's so-called confession.
After this exchange, Nana herself asks, "Zaya, did you throw my phone in the toilet?"
"Zaya: Yeah."
"Nana: Did you drive my car to work today?"
"Zaya: Yeah."
"Nana: Okay. Zaya, did you kill Kennedy?"
"Zaya: Yeah."
"Not much of a slam dunk confession the prosecution thought it was, wouldn't you say? One thing was never discussed. How is it that the defendant's sister knew where the phone had been thrown? How did she know it had been 'thrown' into anything at all? But most importantly, how is it that my client could be in the laundry room with the victim of this crime AND destroy her phone at the exact same time? No one, not even Zaya can do that. The defense concludes that it was not Zaya but her very own sister Julie, who cooked this whole scheme up with the intention of replacing her younger sister as 'the highly favored sister' thus moving herself into that position. As with Cain, Julie was not her SISTER'S keeper but her accuser. Therefore, you must return with a verdict of  'not guilty.' Thank you. Defense rests, Your Honor."
The jury returns. "Madame foreman, have you reached a verdict?"
Foreman: "Yes we have, Your Honor. In the case of 2 year old, Zaya Reins, we the jury find the defendant, 'not guilty'."

Roll credits.    Coming to NBC this fall.......LOL

Saturday, May 28, 2016

Verizon Better Customer Service? Not On A Holiday Weekend!

My pre-paid Verizon phone stopped working yesterday and using someone else's phone, I called for support and a wonderful lady named Debbie told me to go to my nearest Authorized Dealer. "They'll be happy to help." So I did.......
I go to the store and was surprised that their parking lot was empty. The only reason I did go in was the "OPEN" sign was working. I go in and was met by a very large, bald man with no name tag.
"How can I help you" he asked.
"Something is wrong with my phone." He the takes the phone from my hand, looked at it and said, "It's got water in it."
"Ok," I said, "I need another phone with the same phone number because I am a breast cancer patient and I need to be able to get in touch with my doctors and vice versa."
"We can't do that." he said.
"I was told you could transfer my number, photos and videos to another phone."
"Well, we can't. Now you just had a pre-paid...well, I can sell you another one for 90 bucks. That's about it." he said.
"So it's just a myth that I can get another phone with my same number....." I began but he interrupted me by saying, "No, none of that is true."  Wow!
This entire exchange took about seven minutes and then I was driving myself back home. Very upset and a bit bewildered, I used another phone and called Verizon Support and told this tale to another wonderful lady named "Bethany."
"Bethany" informed me that a lot of my treatment was the result of 1) Holiday weekend  2) I'm a woman   3) I went to the store without a male companion  4) The male's attitude was based on his judgment of whether or not he could "make that sale."  Incidentally, she told me that this man had LIED about being unable to transfer numbers, photos and videos. Then, she told me to GO TO WAL-MART, where they could/would help me. I was sort of stunned that a phone support rep would tell me to by pass the authorized dealer centers and get a phone from WAL-MART!
Fact remains, I am without a phone. Luckily, this long weekend holiday means minimal need of a phone unless there's an emergency. I don't know what I'd do but hopefully, no emergency will occur.
I understand that feeling of "Oh my gosh, here comes a customer and I have plans" but at least this particular "representative" can get you out of his store in under ten minutes!!!

I do appreciate the fact that "Bethany" told me "That man lied to your face." Unusual, right? I'm used to employees backing each other/explaining away incidents/blaming the victim-for lack of a better word. Not this one.
It takes a rare breed of person who has to listen to complaints from customers like me. She listened, gave me some valuable insight on Verizon stores, told me the rep had lied and as I said, told me to go to WAL-MART.
We'll see but for now, I'm going to get over my encounter and see what life is like without a phone...sort of have to at present!! 1 think I'll change my focus from this incident and put it on Memorial Day weekend, what it means and honor as best I can, the men and women who served and currently serve our country.

Have A Safe Memorial Day Weekend

Wednesday, May 4, 2016

Value YOUR Mother (update)

It's that time of year again when we are reminded of how important our mother is and how we should honor her blah, blah, blah. I happen to be one of those who never knew the pleasure of having a mother. Oh, I had a "bio" mom (Alice) but when "bio" dad dumped her after she told him I was on the way--she blamed me for ruining her 'happily ever after,' then split...leaving me with HER mother. So I grew up "knowing" I wasn't wanted and would never be able to "earn" my place here on Earth.
What must it be like to subconsciously know that no matter what, Mom loves you? That she's there for you? That she's proud of you? And feel the same about her?
Her hatred? I understood it. I had ruined her life. She told me so as often as she could. "God must've really wanted you here-because I tried every way in the world to get rid of you. But you got born anyway." she said. I was a child and no matter what you do/say to a child, they'll always see some good in you. We learned that from Anne Frank. "She really doesn't mean it." I told myself.
For a long time, I did feel guilty for being a straight A student, cheerleader from 4th grade to 12th, putting myself through nursing school, becoming all the things I ever dreamed of while "Mom" never really had a shot. Truth be told, I did all those things thinking she'd "wake up" then she and I would have "happily ever after" Mother/Daughter style.
Last year, I was sitting in church listening to the pastor praise motherhood and what a godly honor it was to be someone's mother. As I looked around, I saw family, family, family...then me. I resorted to the statement I've always held in my heart..."God must think you're pretty special to put you down here all by yourself." Then I decided to end this thing between Alice and me. So I went to see her.
She chose to live in a nursing home after a few falls, "mishaps" and numerous displays of what doctors call "strategic helplessness." When I arrived, it was like when Caleb met his mother in the classic novel "East of Eden." Alice is now an old, arthritic, bitter bitch that I barely recognized, living in a wheelchair.
"Hello." I said.
"Who the fuck are you?" she asked.
"Oh, I'm just someone you used to know." I answered. "I brought you something. It's Mother's Day." I added. Then I handed her a single red rose in a glass vase draped in white ribbon with the words, "I forgive you" written on the card attached. She looked at it, reached for it with the claw she now has for a left hand, looked at the card and I said, "The card says, 'I forgive you.'"
She looked at me and asked, "How's Blake (her grandson) and the baby (her great-granddaughter)?" So much for that Alzheimer's disease the nursing home claims she has.
"They're fine." I said. "Goodbye." Then I left. Closure.
That's been nearly a year ago and rarely, have I even thought of her. I pay her nursing home bill and her burial insurance premiums and that's all. That's plenty.
If nothing else, let me be someone you're glad you're not. Let me make you thankful your mother was not like mine. You know what a mother's love is and I don't. No pity needed here,  Just promise me that you'll value YOUR mother and praise her for something they call "unconditional love." I feel I have it for my son and my granddaughter but without an example, I'm hoping I'm doing it correctly.
The hard truth is...some women aren't meant to be mothers. Mine wasn't.
I envy everyone of you blessed with a mother who saw her child as a blessing and not a curse. Spend time with your mother, love her, adore her and thank God for her. VALUE her as she valued YOU!