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Thoughts Of Suicide

Confession: March 24th was going to be the end for me. Months with no car, pain, painful treatments, meds screwed up, isolated, low on cash...

Monday, September 30, 2013

One of My Own "Breaking Bad" Moments

The "Breaking Bad" finale broadcast masterfully ended one of the best shows I have ever seen. For me, all the "appropriate" people got killed; the family is safe and the show essentially began and ended in the lab. Occasionally throughout the series 'favorite bad moments' would be revisited prompting me to recount my life to see if I had any favorite bad moments of my own. So in honor of Walter White, here is one of my personal "Bad Moments."

Years ago, I was getting ready for a date when someone knocked at my door. I went to answer it but instead of asking, "Who is it?" or looking through the peephole I just asked, "Mark?" A barely audible response made me think it was him. So like a fool, I opened the door, saw it wasn't Mark, tried to slam the door on this strange man but he blocked it with his foot and got in. Figuring "this is it, I'm dead," a strange calm came over me. I pointed at him and in a slow, "Exorcist-like" growl said, "You just made a major mistake. I'm on my period, I am hungry, I'm really pissed and the only victim here is going to be YOU!"

Let's just say he had a face full of dirt and a nice little bump on his head from the conveniently located potted plant I threw at him at the first step he took toward me. But there's nothing funnier than the sight of a terrified intruder tripping over furniture running away from a short chick throwing flowers. While a clay pot of African Violets lacks the lasting effects of Lily of the Valley---they got the job done!

How do I feel now about that brief transformation into crazy? As Walt said, "I liked it...and I was good at it."

RIP Breaking Bad

Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Car Repair Conclusion

Twenty-one days ago, I took my car to the dealership to have a blown head gasket repaired and this odyssey began. I knew my car wouldn't be touched until after the long Labor Day holiday had passed but that was expected. That's just my luck. I chose to believe that a full-grown, college educated woman,  didn't need a father/brother/hubby etc. to act on her behalf in dealing with a mechanic. That's just my ignorance.

I did some pretty intense research online about what fixing a blown head gasket would involve but apparently, I missed ALOT. You see, when I picked up my car, "Bob" gave me the finished work order form that included all of the following:

"1" intake valve
"2" exhaust valve
Radiator inspection
Head resurfacing
Head gasket set
Head bolts
Timing set
Tune-up assessment
Spark plugs
Valve cover set
Oil/filter AND
Oil change

I must admit that nowhere in my research did I discover that fixing a blown head gasket required a tune up and an oil change. My cousin James took his car in for new brakes and all he got were brakes. My cousin Ted needed a new fan belt and all he got was a new fan belt. My Uncle Ray had a blown HEAD GASKET and that's all that was fixed. No tune up, no oil change. Why? Because none of them qualified for the "Little Lady" treatment. What's that?

"Now 'Little Lady,'" Bob explained, "women in are here all the time thinking they know what's wrong with their car but that's for us to decide. We always make sure they get the proper treatment."

Mission accomplished. I'm a lot lighter in the wallet and I've been "treated."

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Car "Repair" 14 Days Later...

For the past twenty years, I've been a registered nurse specializing in intensive care. I've assisted in open-heart surgery, served in ER, run first-aid stations and assisted various accident victims on numerous backroads and interstates. If you've got a medical issue, I'm a good person to have nearby. Unfortunately, this "status" doesn't help at all when the issue is car repair and mechanics. In fact, every conversation I have with them contains a "We'll see," "We'll be in touch," a few "Little Lady's" and a "Sugar" or two.

The research I did before I took my car to "the shop" was for nothing. Knowing and explaining that my car had a blown head gasket got me nothing but a couple of eye rolls when they thought I wasn't looking. I confess, I expected nothing less.

I correctly guessed that taking my car to the shop on August 28th was just a little too close to the Labor Day holiday to expect any service. At the time, my car was the only one they had but I made myself believe that my car was only one in a long line of customers needing repair. I was wrong but what's a girl to do?

The last fourteen days have found me nearly in solitary confinement. The people I have given rides to in the past suddenly were too busy, too far away or too smart to answer their phones when my number appeared on their caller ID. Calls from friends have stopped...the word is out. I've got no wheels. Again, I expected nothing less.

With no wheels, I have been able to catch up on television. The funniest thing I've seen so far is a commercial about a website designed for women who want to buy a car by themselves. The tagline is something like, "I don't need to take a dude with me..." That makes me laugh every time. I shout back at the TV, "Oh yes you do---Little Lady!"  The only thing funnier than a woman taking information from that site to a car dealer would be taking it to an auto repair shop! I know from experience.......

                                                  FOURTEEN DAYS LATER!