Nobody tells you about the loneliness and suffering you do when your head hits the pillow at night. I was diagnosed with stage 3 breast cancer with lymph node involvement. 5 of six nodes were removed. Then, as past readers will recall, I had 18 rounds of chemotherapy and 33 doses of radiation. Apparently, that is the basic regiment of treatment. I went thru it all essentially alone. My family situation basically consists of my son, his baby mama and all her drama. Unfortunately, she commandeers most of his time--especially when it comes to me.
I am alone most of the time. That's why you readers are so valuable to me. I'm here. You're there...wherever that may be. That alone is a comfort.
Since it is October and Breast Cancer Awareness Month, I have to admit it is bittersweet. I brought it all on myself regarding getting help. I'm the strong one, right? I'm the one everyone else comes to when the crap hits the fan. Unfortunately, I gave folks the wrong impression.
Once your routine care is complete, you are basically left on your own to deal with the meds, the schedules and the money involved in your "aftercare." That is where I am now.
I have gotten all kinds of magazines that help me "adjust" to my new life. New life? I'm still the same woman with the same wants and needs she had before. Contrary to most of my "friends" and what they think, I need encouragement at times. I am grateful for my survival of this horrible disease but...now what? I'll tell you what.....
Every now and then, think of me and send a prayer my way. You can be my cyber family. I realize that I am whining and feeling sorry for myself but I found out that I am human. How bout that? I cry. Don't tell anybody. Ok?
I am a breast cancer survivor who would be honored to receive a postcard or letter from anyone reading this. I miss the days of pen pals. Anyone remember pen pals?. I guess technology pretty much eliminated the need for handwritten notes and letters. This was why a reader I can only call "Muse" sent me an entire collection of Bill Bryson books such as A Walk In the Woods and made life easier to endure. So, if you find the time and would like to "support" a breast cancer survivor with a note of encouragement or a postcard, the address is:
220 Monday Rd.
Corryton, TN 37721
Thank you for indulging me. I have missed blogging and getting strength from the fact that I am NOT alone because of YOU!!!