Like nearly every Sunday morning, I'm getting ready to go to Sunday School/Church. I like my church, it's a 'praising church' and the pastor is awesome. I got in my car and prepped to drive the couple of miles it takes to get to my church. On that empty road just ahead of me was Bob a.k.a. "Bicycle Bob" the local child molester. The police told our neighborhood watch that Bob was a convicted child molester who was moving in around our area and we had a right to know this. I also knew the victim and his family.
There was Bob on the same empty road as me, peddling that red bicycle of his. It did flash through my mind, 'I could run him off the road. Nobody would see me do it and his body wouldn't be found for days.' Yes, I was having murderous thought on my way to church. My personal belief is that these monsters never can be cured so the less of them there are, the better. Needless to say, I passed old Bob and I went to Sunday School.
After Sunday School, we all went up to the sanctuary for the sermon. I took my usual seat in the middle. I put my stuff away in my purse, took out my Bible and was ready for our 'lesson.' But when I looked up...there sat Bob! Third row center. Right in my field of vision.
Steve Harvey has a standup comedy special called, "Don't Trip...God Ain't Through with Me Yet." HE also is far from through with me because I sat there in stunned disbelief that "Bicycle Bob" was in MY church. There was a convicted child molester in God's House! Surely, I'm not the only one in here that knows Bob or at least "about Bob." Then I thought, 'he does have the right to worship anywhere he pleases, right?' His presence really is 'none of my business, right?' 'I'm supposed to be a Christian, right?' 'Love the sinner, hate the sin, right?" "Cast the first stone and all that, right?" Sorry, God ain't through with me either! If I had had a stone, I would've hurled it directly at "Bicycle Bob"!
I could feel my heartbeat in my carotid arteries as I stared at the back of Bob's head. 'He must be wanting to start coming here before Bible School starts so he can pick another little boy to groom then violate, I thought. That's a horrible thing to think! But that IS what he did before according to the policeman who met us at our neighborhood community building all those weeks ago.
I then fixed my eyes on the pastor as he delivered his sermon but I didn't hear a single word. The thoughts in my head kept drowning him out. Here's a sample:
'Somebody in authority should know about Bob. He's served his time. Maybe this is the only place he can go. Are there any children on the same pew with him? Is he trying to get some "credit by association" sitting in the Dean family's pew? Is he thinking we'll think he must be okay cause he's sitting 'with' Mr. & Mrs. Dean? I'm not Christian enough to even get around this guy. I can't be the only one here that knows Bob's history, can I? Sure I can. What if I didn't tell anyone and something happened? Oh, he'll probably only attend once or twice. He's not going to make MY church HIS church! Wait, I can't think that way...."
In the closing of church, our pastor asked us all to stand, join hands and make our "family circle." No problem. But when I finally got in position, Bob was standing directly across from me in his. "God," I said to myself, "just my luck he's standing across from me. OMG, he's holding Mrs. Pyle's hand. Bet that old woman would be upset if she knew whose hand she's holding!"
Church dismissed and I made a beeline to a longtime friend who is a deacon and asked him if he knew, "about Bob." He said he and a few others knew 'about Bob' and chose to believe his attendance was out of his need for God. "I hope so." I said. I was relieved. I also learned a lot about myself and judgment that day. I still have a long way to go to be a real Christian but thank God, He ain't through with me yet.
BTW...Bob hasn't been back to MY church since.
We have all experienced those voices in our head, those emotions and feelings that cover us in a shadow of darkness and manifest into our lives: they are known as our inner demons.
ReplyDeleteIt’s a battle that goes on inside all of us, whether it be our fears, sadness, anxiety, frustrations and disappoints tormenting us and preventing us from experiencing happiness, peace, love and hope. Just like with every battle there are two options: you can choose to hide from these demons and negative energies or you can choose to fight these demons and confront and conquer them.
Sometimes it’s hard to see the light in the tunnel especially when we are struggling with debt, finding a job, or affording to put gas in your own car. We tend to compare ourselves to others and fall short to our very own expectations, and that is when we let our inner demons take over. We become negative beings with pessimistic thoughts, and feel that the world has gotten the best of us and so we lose all the strength to battle it. These inner demons inevitably start to lead us to insecurity, failure and unhappiness. But rest assured, that even in our most desperate and darkest of times, there will always be a light in you which can/will conquer inner demons and lead you to the happiness you deserve.
Without facing the uncertainties of the future, we will never be able to pursue our destinies; we will never be able to learn; and we will never be able to grow.
Is your yahoo email still working OK? Or, did it get "compromised" in the big hacking ordeal?
ReplyDeleteNo, I'm cool. Not hacked and especially not "compromised" LOL!!
DeleteGood to hear that.
ReplyDeleteMerry Christmas.