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Thoughts Of Suicide

Confession: March 24th was going to be the end for me. Months with no car, pain, painful treatments, meds screwed up, isolated, low on cash...

Monday, October 3, 2016

Breast Cancer...The Aftermath...and a Bit of "Cyber-begging"

Nobody tells you about the loneliness and suffering you do when your head hits the pillow at night. I was diagnosed with stage 3 breast cancer with lymph node involvement. 5 of six nodes were removed. Then, as past readers will recall, I had 18 rounds of chemotherapy and 33 doses of radiation. Apparently, that is the basic regiment of treatment. I went thru it all essentially alone. My family situation basically consists of my son, his baby mama and all her drama. Unfortunately, she commandeers most of his time--especially when it comes to me.
I am alone most of the time. That's why you readers are so valuable to me.  I'm here. You're there...wherever that may be. That alone is a comfort.
Since it is October and Breast Cancer Awareness Month, I have to admit it is bittersweet. I brought it all on myself regarding getting help. I'm the strong one, right? I'm the one everyone else comes to when the crap hits the fan. Unfortunately, I gave folks the wrong impression.
Once your routine care is complete, you are basically left on your own to deal with the meds, the schedules and the money involved in your "aftercare." That is where I am now.
I have gotten all kinds of magazines that help me "adjust" to my new life. New life? I'm still the same woman with the same wants and needs she had before. Contrary to most of my "friends" and what they think, I need encouragement at times. I am grateful for my survival of this horrible disease but...now what? I'll tell you what.....

Every now and then, think of me and send a prayer my way. You can be my cyber family. I realize that I am whining and feeling sorry for myself but I found out that I am human. How bout that? I cry. Don't tell anybody. Ok?

I am a breast cancer survivor who would be honored to receive a postcard or letter from anyone reading this. I miss the days of pen pals. Anyone remember pen pals?. I guess technology pretty much eliminated the need for handwritten notes and letters. This was why a reader I can only call "Muse" sent me an entire collection of Bill Bryson books such as A Walk In the Woods and made life easier to endure. So, if you find the time and would like to "support" a breast cancer survivor with a note of encouragement or a postcard, the address is:

Dyane Lody
220 Monday Rd.
# 6
Corryton, TN 37721

Thank you for indulging me. I have missed blogging and getting strength from the fact that I am NOT alone because of YOU!!!

God Bless


  1. Dyane,
    Thank you for the "shout out". I'm so happy the books made such an impact - that was my intent, with good reason. But, be careful of pity parties, they can be dangerous. (The lows are too low.) Always believe - and never forget - that someone, somewhere always thinks of you in positive ways. I know it's hard to do - it's hard for me too. Do your best to keep your chin up. You're not alone. We're all dealing with our issues, even those folks who look like they're doing fine.

  2. How many of the Bill Bryson books have you read? Which ones have you read? What are your thoughts on the ones you've read?

    Who do you normally read? Or, who would you like to read?

    Have you read any of John Grisham's books? Many of them have been made in to films.

    1. I'll read practically anything...except those "bodice-ripping" romance novels. Grisham is a good idea. By the way, I've read every Bryson book you sent! I think I read somewhere that Grisham's "A Time to Kill" film isn't like the book. A couple of key elements differ from the book.

  3. Please tell me which (if any) Grisham books you've already read. Fair warning, if you haven't read Grisham before, you get sucked in pretty quickly and want to read a lot of it every day. In other words, regardless of the book's number of pages, it (i.e. all Grisham books) is a quick read. I'm surprised how quickly I devour 500-750 of his pages. Again, please tell me which (if any) Grisham books you've already read.

    1. Any Grisham books would be welcomed!!

    2. Any Grisham books would be welcomed!!

  4. Have you read any of his books?

  5. I've read "A Time to Kill" and that is all I can remember! Anyone with a series of books interests me! Happy Thanksgiving!!