Featured Post

Thoughts Of Suicide

Confession: March 24th was going to be the end for me. Months with no car, pain, painful treatments, meds screwed up, isolated, low on cash...

Tuesday, June 9, 2015

Old Lovers and Be Careful What You Wish For (Updatedf)

This is a revised and updated version of the post of nearly the same name. The last post somehow was deleted and with the events that have passed since, I felt an update was in order.
When Rick D*******a sent me a friend request via Facebook I was immediately stunned. Then I became suspicious. Why would he want to locate me? Who put him up to doing this? Why now? Of course my next thought was that his marriage must be in trouble--didn't know if he was married or not butt I figured if he is trying to contact me--something is wrong at home.
Rick is that nice, sweet polite guy who isn't really physically attractive but the way he treats you makes you want to leave your panties at home. He was like that in college. I didn't know he was engaged the night he ended up in my dorm room and in my bed. All I knew was this was my first real man and I asked him to 'go slow with me.' I had never had a man send my clitoris into spasms nor had a man give it a tender kiss but Rick did and in short, I was his.
We had this secret between us that was never revealed. The last time Rick came to my room, he was armed with a Bible. He read James 1: 8 to me about the "double-minded man" being unstable in all his ways and told me that I had made him this way because sleeping with me was interfering with his relationship with his fiancé. Kinda felt a weird sense of pride that somehow I had driven this man to the Bible for answers--but to what?
He was dumping me and I guess feeling badly about it. But he didn't feel too badly for that "one last ride." So we went to bed together 'one last time' and then afterwards, he never spoke to me or looked in my direction the remains years of college.
Thirty years later, I get a Facebook Friend Request from none other than Rick! He made his request in September but I couldn't figure out what to do until May. I was surprised he didn't give up. To be honest, I really don't remember a lot from my college years so I was reluctant to answer his post. But a step at a time I would post to him and to be honest, he was a wonderful distraction during my last radiation treatments for breast cancer. He said he hurt for me when he read I had cancer and he'd thought of me often during the years.
I was fascinated that he was still married to the girl he was engaged to when he was sneaking into my bed on occasion. How is somebody married 30 years? An amazing feat if you ask me!! But you know something? 30 years DOES change a person. Rick would text me "Thinking of you" on the days of my treatment which made me feel better. Then we began sexting to each other. I had never done this before but I must say I can give E.L.James a run for her money when it comes to talking dirty to a man! But this wasn't the 25yr old boy who used to sneak in my room at night I was sexting, this was a 57yr old married man, grandfather and business owner. Ugh
Through a strange occurrence, Rick came to see me right after a treatment. I was excited and nervous because I was about to see in person the guy who read the Bible to me before he "laid and left me" 30 years ago! Wow!
When he arrived, I realized he wasn't the guy in my head. 30 years had worn on him but his eyes were as blue as the first time he was looking up at me in bed. His hair was as white as snow and his hands were as rough as anyone who works in the fields. We did some fast catching up and I held his hand through it all and ventured up and down his arms feeling those muscles I remembered in college. He kissed me as hard and as passionately as he had done in school and I felt his tongue in my mouth flow all the way down to my clitoris--just like in school.
But this wasn't going to be a Lifetime Movie where the college lovers reunite and live happily ever after. This story ended before an affair could begin. 30 years have taught me that  woman must be her own person and live or die by her choices. I chose to see Rick that day and even though you could see the 30 years on his face, he was still the sweet boy who read the Bible to, made love to you then dumped you for his then fiancĂ© now wife.
He asked me did I remember the first time we'd made love and I should've asked him did he remember the last time we made love. 30 years later a dream was stopped before a nightmare could begin.  Sometimes the fantasy is far better than the reality.

9 comments:

  1. Please share with your readers, who was the best (i.e. most satisfying) person you ever made love to?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I am still creating THAT post but it will be ready for publication soon!

      Delete
  2. I keep forgettin' we're not in love anymore
    I keep forgettin' things will never be the same again
    I keep forgettin' how you made that so clear
    I keep forgettin' it all

    Every time you're near
    Every time I see your smile
    Hear your hello
    Saying you can only stay a while

    Hey, I know that it's hard for you
    To say the things
    We both know are true
    But tell me how come

    I keep forgettin' we're not in love anymore
    I keep forgettin' things will never be the same again
    I keep forgettin' how you made that so clear
    I keep forgettin', babe

    Every time I hear
    How you never want to live a lie
    How it's gone too far
    And you don't have to tell me why

    Why you're gone and why the game is through
    If this is what's real
    If this is what's true
    Tell me how come

    I keep forgettin' we're not in love anymore
    I keep forgettin' things will never be the same again
    I keep forgettin' how you made that so clear
    I keep forgettin'

    Don't say that, don't say that, don't say that
    I know you're not mine anymore, anyway, anytime
    Tell me how come

    I keep forgettin' we're not in love anymore
    I keep forgettin' things will never be the same again
    I keep forgettin' how you made that so clear
    I keep forgettin', baby

    I keep forgettin' we're not in love anymore
    I keep forgettin' things will never be the same again
    I keep forgettin' how you made that so clear
    I keep forgettin'

    ReplyDelete
  3. He came from somewhere back in her long ago
    The sentimental fool don't see
    Tryin' hard to recreate
    What had yet to be created once in her life
    She musters a smile
    For his nostalgic tale
    Never coming near what he wanted to say
    Only to realize
    It never really was

    She had a place in his life
    He never made her think twice
    As he rises to her apology
    Anybody else would surely know
    He's watching her go

    But what a fool believes he sees
    No wise man has the power to reason away
    What seems to be
    Is always better than nothing
    And nothing at all keeps sending him...

    Somewhere back in her long ago
    Where he can still believe there's a place in her life
    Someday, somewhere, she will return

    She had a place in his life
    He never made her think twice
    As he rises to her apology
    Anybody else would surely know
    He's watching her go

    But what a fool believes he sees
    No wise man has the power to reason away
    What seems to be
    Is always better than nothing
    There's nothing at all
    But what a fool believes he sees...

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hey, don't worry, I've been lied to
    I've been here many times before
    Girl, don't you worry, I know where I stand
    I don't need this love, I don't need your hand
    I know I could turn, blink, and you'd be gone
    Then I must be prepared any time to carry on
    But minute by minute by minute by minute
    I keep holding on
    Oh, minute by minute by minute by minute
    I keep holding on

    You will stay just to watch me, darlin'
    Wilt away on lies from you
    Can't stop the habit of livin' on the run
    I take it all for granted like you're the only one
    Livin' on my own
    Somehow that sounds nice
    You think I'm your fool
    Well, you may just be right

    'Cause minute by minute by minute by minute
    I keep holding on
    Oh, minute by minute by minute by minute
    I keep holding on

    Call my name and I'll be gone
    You'll reach out and I won't be there
    Just my luck you'll realize
    You should spend your life with someone
    You could spend your life with someone

    Minute by minute by minute by minute
    I'll be holding on
    Oh, minute by minute by minute by minute
    I'll be holding on...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You are BRILLIANT! I adore the Doobie Brothers and Michael MacDonald! and the songs written here are a wonderful group of theme songs! I bow to your genius "Anonymous"! and your insightfulness is amazing! Thank you!!!!!

      Delete
    2. Who's that knocking on my door
      It's gotta be a quarter to four
      Is it you again coming 'round for more
      Well you can love me tonight if you want
      But in the morning make sure you're gone
      I'm talkin' to you
      Hot legs, wearing me out
      Hot legs, you can scream and shout
      Hot legs, are you still in school
      I love you honey

      Gotta most persuasive tongue
      You promise all kinds of fun
      But what you don't understand
      I'm a working man
      Gonna need a shot of vitamin E
      By the time you're finished with me
      I'm talking to you
      Hot legs, you're an alley cat
      Hot legs, you scratch my back
      Hot legs, bring your mother too
      I love you honey

      Imagine how my daddy felt
      in your jet black suspender belt
      Seventeen years old
      He's touching sixty four

      You got legs right up to your neck
      You're making me a physical wreck
      I'm talking to you
      Hot legs, in your satin shoes
      Hot legs, are you still in school
      Hot legs, you're making me a fool
      I love you honey

      Hot legs, making your mark
      Hot legs, keep my pencil sharp
      Hot legs, keep your hands to yourself
      I love you honey
      Hot legs, you're wearing me out
      Hot legs, you can scream and shout
      Hot legs, you're still in school
      I love you honey

      Delete
  5. Hey baby I'd like to talk to you
    How about coming back to my room for a little boom boom

    Hey baby I'd like to talk to you
    How about coming back to my room for a little boom boom

    You keep coming to me
    I can dig your dynamite
    Know the way you move
    Get in the groove
    You're driving me crazy, crazy for you

    Second time you moved me
    It's time for us to boom boom
    You can come right close to me
    And feel the burning fire
    All the time you got me
    It's fine for us to boom boom
    If you see the spark in me
    And feel my strong desire

    Boom Boom Boom
    Let's go back to my room
    So we can do it all night
    And you can make me feel right

    Do the honor to me
    Don't you know I like to bite
    Get to the view
    Closer to you
    You're driving me crazy, crazy for you

    Second time you moved me
    It's time for us to Boom Boom
    You can come right close to me
    And feel the burning fire
    All the time you got me
    It's fine for us to boom boom
    If you see the spark in me
    And feel my strong desire

    Boom Boom Boom
    Let's go back to my room
    So we can do it all night
    And you can make me feel right

    ReplyDelete
  6. Please post something new. We are waiting to read your work.

    ReplyDelete