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Thoughts Of Suicide

Confession: March 24th was going to be the end for me. Months with no car, pain, painful treatments, meds screwed up, isolated, low on cash...

Friday, January 17, 2014

'Ads' Suspended--Gone But Not Forgotten

I was blogging along, minding my own business when I started noticing the ads on the blog sites I'd visit. Ads, ads, everywhere. I didn't have any. Why not? What did 'they' know that I didn't? Was I missing out on something? I did some research and thought everything I read sounded harmless enough so I decided to have ads on my blog. Why not? Sell, sell, sell! That's the name of the game! Go forth and make a nickel or two. I followed all the tips about 'increasing traffic' and using social media looking forward to 'raking in that dollar.'
I noticed a little increase in my pageviews from time to time but nothing major. I started feeling like I had put on my big girl panties and entered the business world. Yea me! WooWoo!
Today I got the news---I had been suspended for 'invalid activity.' WHAT? I've never been suspended from anything in my life. No inquiry, no 'exit interview'--just judged and executed. What is 'invalid activity'? Sure, I read everything about the do's and don'ts of advertising/hosting ads before I signed up but they are simple and clear. Nothing to be misunderstood. So how does something like that happen? I hadn't checked any of my own ads and nobody I know has a blog or is interested in such things to be frank but something looked wrong somewhere in Cyberville and I got the ax! I'll never get that $12.22 total I made the last couple of months---there goes my home in the Hamptons!
I felt a bit silly 'filing an appeal' but it had to be done for no other reason than my self-esteem. I'm used to being in control of everything I do and "if there is a problem, yo, I'll solve it..." ala Vanilla Ice etc. I knew for certain was that I hadn't done anything to violate policy but in my mind I could see  HAL the Computer blocking my re-entry. Surely this 'wrong' would be made 'right' and I wouldn't be on the outside looking in with my nose against the glass. Alas, I have indeed been banished.
There strangest thing to me was how clean and final the cut was. Maybe if it had been face-to-face or by telephone, I could have been informed as to what exactly had happened that required the suspension...pled my case...been given another chance. "Throw myself on the mercy of the court." But that's where we are now. Impersonal and final. Business not personal. Dollars not 'Sense.'
Judged and executed.
I lived and learned.

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