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Thoughts Of Suicide

Confession: March 24th was going to be the end for me. Months with no car, pain, painful treatments, meds screwed up, isolated, low on cash...

Monday, May 20, 2013



     Blake, my eighteen year old high school senior son, got a part-time job after school in January of this year. Flexible hours. Money in the pockets. What could be better? Pretty soon, he was going to and from work with his friend "Sara."  Another kid from his high school was working there, too. They were dating?.. intimate? Maybe. Got to be realistic. Horrifying thought for any mother.
     One night a very sexy message was sent "accidentally" to my phone. It was from Sara. I showed it to him the next morning as he was getting ready for school, he just rolled his eyes. High school girls are bold these days, huh?
    Two days later, Sara called to tell me what a great employee Blake is and apologize for that text.she had sent. Sara is no teenager. She is my son's boss!
     Sara is a twenty-six year old, single-mother of three children who are all under the age of six. Two boys by one father and a girl by another man. That's just a fact, not a judgment. Things happen. She is however, known to "pursue the new guy" at work. Blake was just the latest. By the way, that text was sent to me on purpose.
     Blake and his date went to the prom two weeks ago. Sara called me to find out where 'they' were and said, "If you'll give me his date's cell number, I'll call and find out where they are--for YOU." What?
     Friday night was graduation and Sara shows up with her two little boys, moves people around, in and out of their seats so she could sit in the ONE available seat next to me. Three people in one seat. During the ceremony the youngest became uncomfortable, began to cry so Sara moved everyone around again and spent the rest of the evening watching from the hallway.
     I tell myself Blake is eighteen, has a job and is responsible. He'll get over this, It's just a phase. He's flattered by the attention etc.. I do, however, have the occasional vision of Blake with Baby #4 as Daddy #3 or Sara sneaking into our house and boiling Blake's dog, Rascal! (He doesn't have a rabbit.)

                                                    I'll let you know what happens.

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