While a lot of the world this weekend is using Valentine's Day to venture into the world of S&M, I like using Valentine's Day as a day to tell and show someone how I feel about them in silly and sexy ways. I prefer games that don't have to have an agreed upon "safe" word or signed contract. Being a survivor of domestic violence, I wasn't able to get thru the worldwide phenomenon without long gone scars beginning to sting. I've had my fill of stocks and straps.
Giving your man a nice warm bath is a way to get the festivities off to a good start. I am partial to sitting nude astride my man, coating his chin and neck with some, hot, foamy shaving cream, with my hands on the razor and his hands on my hips--you know, for security. Oh, the illusion of a woman with a razor dangerously close to the arteries of the neck, herself somewhat defenseless in her nakedness. I wonder if there is a man more helpless than one lying under a nude woman.
Then since turnabout is fair play, it is quite a feat to have your man shave "the kitty." If you are able to get your man to "trim" the "trim," keep your eyes on his face the entire time. No man is as tender and then as brutal when given the honor of personalizing "his" piece...then tearing into it later!
Men need reminding that you aren't 100% committed to wearing panties. I haven't worn panties in years but I am quite the collector of corsets, G-strings and thigh-high silk stockings. No matter how high the heel or how short the dress, a lady can be draped in all kinds of naughtiness for her man...and they are the only two that know!
Take this Valentine's Day and live it up! Enjoy him...enjoy her and the day doesn't have to stop at midnight. And to keep Variety going--Take it from a song I love. I think it's REO Speedwagon:
"If you think u miss the thrill of the chase....
Or just get tried of the same old face
I can be different honey,
I can be new...
Want someone else?
I can be them, too!"
HAPPY GOOD LOVIN'--HAPPY VALENTINE"S DAY
Saturday, February 14, 2015
Monday, February 2, 2015
At Least He Tried to "Put a Ring On It"
No matter how old your children are, you want the best for them, hurt when they hurt and help whenever you can. You do your best to raise them properly and hope they'll have great lives, few problems and even fewer heartbreaks. There is nothing quite so painful as watching your child deal with rejection no matter what the level.
In previous posts, I "may have mentioned" what I think of my son Blake's relationship with his girlfriend but they've been together for more than two years and last March, they gave me a beautiful granddaughter. Over this past weekend, Blake asked me to dinner to show me the bridal set he'd gotten--and break the news that he was going to propose marriage to his girlfriend. "Don't do it! You're too young!" I thought but decided NOT to say. I chose to be impressed with the fact that he was going to make a commitment to the mother of his child and "put a ring on it"!
Instead of waiting and planning some big Valentine's Day proposal, Blake "popped the question" this past Saturday--after supper and after putting the baby down for the night. Apparently, he asked her to marry him, she said "Yes" but "hates the rings and won't wear them."
I'm stunned. Who takes the man but not the rings? Blake told me she thinks the rings are 'too big, not the right color and ugly.' Now, I'll admit they aren't Kim and Kanye caliber but they are decent, right?
What happened to 'it's the thought that counts'; the effort he put into the pricing, the selecting and the presenting? Whatever happened to loving the ring/rings because "he" got them for you? Wouldn't the gesture itself turn the cheapest ring into something priceless? When you love someone, isn't the ring just a formality? Apparently not.
I've got two sayings at the ready because sooner or later, Blake will ask me what I think about this episode with his girlfriend. One is a common adage and the other is a quote from the late Dr. Maya Angelou: "Actions speak louder than words" and "When someone shows you who they are--believe them." I guess that leaves nothing else to say but maybe:
BRIDAL SET for SALE!
(hand modeling by AnnaB! lol)
In previous posts, I "may have mentioned" what I think of my son Blake's relationship with his girlfriend but they've been together for more than two years and last March, they gave me a beautiful granddaughter. Over this past weekend, Blake asked me to dinner to show me the bridal set he'd gotten--and break the news that he was going to propose marriage to his girlfriend. "Don't do it! You're too young!" I thought but decided NOT to say. I chose to be impressed with the fact that he was going to make a commitment to the mother of his child and "put a ring on it"!
Instead of waiting and planning some big Valentine's Day proposal, Blake "popped the question" this past Saturday--after supper and after putting the baby down for the night. Apparently, he asked her to marry him, she said "Yes" but "hates the rings and won't wear them."
I'm stunned. Who takes the man but not the rings? Blake told me she thinks the rings are 'too big, not the right color and ugly.' Now, I'll admit they aren't Kim and Kanye caliber but they are decent, right?
What happened to 'it's the thought that counts'; the effort he put into the pricing, the selecting and the presenting? Whatever happened to loving the ring/rings because "he" got them for you? Wouldn't the gesture itself turn the cheapest ring into something priceless? When you love someone, isn't the ring just a formality? Apparently not.
BRIDAL SET for SALE!
(hand modeling by AnnaB! lol)
Monday, January 26, 2015
Women and Car Repair: The Hilarious Conclusion
In my last post, yours truly was waiting for her car to be repaired. I took it to "One Stop" for a starter but was informed that it was the ignition switch--not the starter that I would be needing and "Once we order it online, the earliest it could be delivered by UPS is January 5th." Now this is where customer loyalty and trust can be costly. I had been treated well by these people in the past and had no reason to question them so...like a fool...I didn't. I have to confess here I thought they would do the best they could because they knew my car was my only transportation and I had just begun weekly chemotherapy. I let them fix the car. My mistake.
When I got "the call" from the owner on January 12th that my car was fixed, I was relieved! Yes, I had to reschedule my chemos and yes, I had gone without a car since December 29th but so what? That was then this is now!!
Got to the shop, paid the bill, got in the car and NOTHING. Wouldn't start. The mechanic got in it and even though his hands were suddenly shaking--he got it started. "You gotta sometimes grease the new key when you put in a new ignition switch" was his explanation. "Will you be available if I get home and it won't start?" I asked--somewhat joking. "Aw, that won't happen again, Little Lady." Famous last words.
Three days later, the car wouldn't start at the grocery store. I called the owners, the mechanic came to help and started the car. "I came to you guys because I needed a new starter but you put in an ignition switch, right?"
"Oh yeah, you didn't need a starter."
Tuesday Jan., 20 was chemo day. Got up, got ready, got dressed, got into the car and NOTHING. The car wouldn't start. Granted, I was upset so I called the car shop again and again, the mechanic came out. Now the owner felt that I should just "Calm down and be glad the mechanic will come to you--a lot of places won't even do that" he said. Okay. When the guy got there, he looked under the hood and said, "It's the starter."
"What?"
"Your car needs a starter." he said. Then, the man said, "I put an ignition switch when I should have put in a starter like you said you needed."
"So for the record," I said, "you 'fixed' something that didn't need it and I was right that it just needed a starter. Right?"
"Right. You were right. I'll go back to the shop and get you a starter and give you a call" he said.
Fortunately, less than three hours later, a guy I know took it upon himself to call HIS mechanic, get a starter, fix the car and have me on the road again for...forty-five dollars! Needless to say, I haven't heard a peep out from the "One Stop" folks but I do have hilarious story, an actual confession and a new catch phrase I can attribute to them:
"Sometimes You Just Gotta Grease Your Key!"
When I got "the call" from the owner on January 12th that my car was fixed, I was relieved! Yes, I had to reschedule my chemos and yes, I had gone without a car since December 29th but so what? That was then this is now!!
Got to the shop, paid the bill, got in the car and NOTHING. Wouldn't start. The mechanic got in it and even though his hands were suddenly shaking--he got it started. "You gotta sometimes grease the new key when you put in a new ignition switch" was his explanation. "Will you be available if I get home and it won't start?" I asked--somewhat joking. "Aw, that won't happen again, Little Lady." Famous last words.
Three days later, the car wouldn't start at the grocery store. I called the owners, the mechanic came to help and started the car. "I came to you guys because I needed a new starter but you put in an ignition switch, right?"
"Oh yeah, you didn't need a starter."
Tuesday Jan., 20 was chemo day. Got up, got ready, got dressed, got into the car and NOTHING. The car wouldn't start. Granted, I was upset so I called the car shop again and again, the mechanic came out. Now the owner felt that I should just "Calm down and be glad the mechanic will come to you--a lot of places won't even do that" he said. Okay. When the guy got there, he looked under the hood and said, "It's the starter."
"What?"
"Your car needs a starter." he said. Then, the man said, "I put an ignition switch when I should have put in a starter like you said you needed."
"So for the record," I said, "you 'fixed' something that didn't need it and I was right that it just needed a starter. Right?"
"Right. You were right. I'll go back to the shop and get you a starter and give you a call" he said.
Fortunately, less than three hours later, a guy I know took it upon himself to call HIS mechanic, get a starter, fix the car and have me on the road again for...forty-five dollars! Needless to say, I haven't heard a peep out from the "One Stop" folks but I do have hilarious story, an actual confession and a new catch phrase I can attribute to them:
"Sometimes You Just Gotta Grease Your Key!"
Wednesday, January 7, 2015
Women & Car Repair: Some Things Never Change
Despite all the hype and hope for 2015, I am experiencing the "same old same old" when it comes to getting my car fixed. My car has only been in the shop since December so the 'new year' hasn't really gotten started I suppose but then again...neither has my car!!
My car is a Saturn and I needed a starter. I took it to a local shop and 'wouldn't you just know it'? Saturn has stopped making "my particular kind of starter." The mechanic had to go online and order it to be delivered. The mechanic said, "It doesn't take more than a day or two to get a part delivered and UPS is really good at bringing us our orders." Well, "wouldn't you just know it"? The earliest they could get the part I need was January 5th! Of course this was explained to me after I called to check on my car's 'status.' "Sorry Little Lady, there's nothing we can do 'til that ignition switch comes in but as soon as it does, we'll have you back on the road."
Wouldn't you just know it!
I always have bad luck when it comes to getting a car fixed. The parts aren't there, the 'only guy who could fix it is unavailable', it's almost the weekend or the problem is worse than they thought. I get the 'Little Lady' treatment and that patronizing smile whenever I tell mechanics what is wrong with my car. How dare I? THEY will decide "what's really going on" with my automobile. My cousin Frank never has this trouble. He goes in, tell the mechanics what to do and the work never takes more than a day. Wonder what his 'secret' is?
My cars also seem to breakdown around a major holiday. My last car trouble happened just before Labor Day so it shouldn't have been a shock when my car decided to conk out around Christmas/New Years but it was. Like millions of people, my car is my only transportation so when I have to be without it, it is almost traumatic. I am still getting chemotherapy and I had hopes of 'getting a break' from the universe so I wouldn't have to put the treatments on hold. (Pardon the self-pity there, please.) But alas, twas not to be. Besides, everybody's got their troubles, right?
So it's tick-tock and watch the clock. Hours turn into days, days turn into weeks and still no car. Maybe the universe is trying to teach me patience.
Unfortunately, life kind of stops for me when I have no car. (Again, please pardon the self-pity) At least now when I call the shop I get an "any day now" or a "Just stay positive" from them. Stay positive? Yeah, right. I can't even call in favors. Everyone I gave rides to, babysat for and took to their various appointments in the past is suddenly out of reach, sick or swamped. Don't you just hate when that happens? Whatever happened to "getting by with a little help from my friends"?
My car is a Saturn and I needed a starter. I took it to a local shop and 'wouldn't you just know it'? Saturn has stopped making "my particular kind of starter." The mechanic had to go online and order it to be delivered. The mechanic said, "It doesn't take more than a day or two to get a part delivered and UPS is really good at bringing us our orders." Well, "wouldn't you just know it"? The earliest they could get the part I need was January 5th! Of course this was explained to me after I called to check on my car's 'status.' "Sorry Little Lady, there's nothing we can do 'til that ignition switch comes in but as soon as it does, we'll have you back on the road."
Wouldn't you just know it!
I always have bad luck when it comes to getting a car fixed. The parts aren't there, the 'only guy who could fix it is unavailable', it's almost the weekend or the problem is worse than they thought. I get the 'Little Lady' treatment and that patronizing smile whenever I tell mechanics what is wrong with my car. How dare I? THEY will decide "what's really going on" with my automobile. My cousin Frank never has this trouble. He goes in, tell the mechanics what to do and the work never takes more than a day. Wonder what his 'secret' is?
My cars also seem to breakdown around a major holiday. My last car trouble happened just before Labor Day so it shouldn't have been a shock when my car decided to conk out around Christmas/New Years but it was. Like millions of people, my car is my only transportation so when I have to be without it, it is almost traumatic. I am still getting chemotherapy and I had hopes of 'getting a break' from the universe so I wouldn't have to put the treatments on hold. (Pardon the self-pity there, please.) But alas, twas not to be. Besides, everybody's got their troubles, right?
So it's tick-tock and watch the clock. Hours turn into days, days turn into weeks and still no car. Maybe the universe is trying to teach me patience.
Unfortunately, life kind of stops for me when I have no car. (Again, please pardon the self-pity) At least now when I call the shop I get an "any day now" or a "Just stay positive" from them. Stay positive? Yeah, right. I can't even call in favors. Everyone I gave rides to, babysat for and took to their various appointments in the past is suddenly out of reach, sick or swamped. Don't you just hate when that happens? Whatever happened to "getting by with a little help from my friends"?
Tuesday, December 16, 2014
Chemo Christmas
Just between you and me, this Christmas is awful. There's no tree, decorations, gifts or greeting cards on display. I had to miss helping serve Thanksgiving dinner at the homeless shelter and won't be able to help hand out toys at the children's hospital. I just do not have the strength. I'm neither cook nor hostess this year. Basically, I'm the person people are glad they are not. I'm the one that 'doesn't have her health' this season. I'm fighting breast cancer and unfortunately, it makes a lot of people uncomfortable. I make lots of people uncomfortable. "There by the Grace of God..." and all that.
This has actually been a pretty good year for me. I quit smoking, I started working out and I made a list of the things I wanted to do now that my son is grown and I have an empty nest. The top two things on the list? Returning to critical care nursing and getting books/stories published. The former is on hold and as for the latter, I use some of my 'down time' to write more. Never have enough stories.
I'm making plans to celebrate NEXT Thanksgiving and Christmas. This holiday season is ruined and it isn't even over yet! Can't enjoy traditional family dinners. Chemotherapy made the delicious smelling turkey taste like acid and Granny's green bean casserole taste like glue. Anything that is supposed to be sweet tastes bitter and everything else tastes like dirt. The combination of drugs I receive make the body feel like it's just beginning to get the flu--body aches and no sense of taste. Can't tell Granny that--she'll just tell you to add more salt!
But no matter how many bills come, treatments are received, how sick I get or number of days of lying in bed I have...this too, shall pass. It will. I know it will. Everything has a beginning, a middle and an end. Including cancer and its treatment.
One day, I'll have my final chemo treatment. One day, my experience with breast cancer will help someone else. One day I won't spend the majority of time alone being sick in the bathroom or at the cancer center and I will be waving a final 'goodbye' to all the doctors and nurses who took care of me. One day.
As for now, I spend my time in bed or watching Christmas specials on TV. I write, I blog, I read, I pray and check days off the calendar. I remind myself just how lucky I am to have found the cancer in a point in time where a woman's breast cancer is treated and not ignored because it's a "lady's thing." Diagnosis and treatment plans are almost immediate--the duration of those treatments, however, aren't.
So I'll just drink my two to three quarts of water a day, enjoy what I can when I can, be grateful and plan for next Thanksgiving and Christmas. Never too early, right?
MERRY CHRISTMAS!
This has actually been a pretty good year for me. I quit smoking, I started working out and I made a list of the things I wanted to do now that my son is grown and I have an empty nest. The top two things on the list? Returning to critical care nursing and getting books/stories published. The former is on hold and as for the latter, I use some of my 'down time' to write more. Never have enough stories.
I'm making plans to celebrate NEXT Thanksgiving and Christmas. This holiday season is ruined and it isn't even over yet! Can't enjoy traditional family dinners. Chemotherapy made the delicious smelling turkey taste like acid and Granny's green bean casserole taste like glue. Anything that is supposed to be sweet tastes bitter and everything else tastes like dirt. The combination of drugs I receive make the body feel like it's just beginning to get the flu--body aches and no sense of taste. Can't tell Granny that--she'll just tell you to add more salt!
But no matter how many bills come, treatments are received, how sick I get or number of days of lying in bed I have...this too, shall pass. It will. I know it will. Everything has a beginning, a middle and an end. Including cancer and its treatment.
One day, I'll have my final chemo treatment. One day, my experience with breast cancer will help someone else. One day I won't spend the majority of time alone being sick in the bathroom or at the cancer center and I will be waving a final 'goodbye' to all the doctors and nurses who took care of me. One day.
As for now, I spend my time in bed or watching Christmas specials on TV. I write, I blog, I read, I pray and check days off the calendar. I remind myself just how lucky I am to have found the cancer in a point in time where a woman's breast cancer is treated and not ignored because it's a "lady's thing." Diagnosis and treatment plans are almost immediate--the duration of those treatments, however, aren't.
So I'll just drink my two to three quarts of water a day, enjoy what I can when I can, be grateful and plan for next Thanksgiving and Christmas. Never too early, right?
MERRY CHRISTMAS!
Monday, December 15, 2014
"Uniform Response"
I am a college educated, registered nurse by profession, mother of one--full grown woman who becomes a paranoid idiot whenever a police car gets behind me. To paraphrase Chris Rock, when a police officer is behind me in traffic, I start wondering if I stole my own car!! My heart beats rapidly. My hands get all sweaty. I do the "check-list" in my head..."what am I doing wrong? is the license plate current? is there a broken light of any kind? did I remember to wear my seatbelt? where is my driver's license? how do I keep calm and drive? am I breathing?" Then inevitably, the officer goes on his way completely unaware of the trauma "he" inflicted upon me. I breathe a big sigh of relief and Life goes on.
I was raised to not only respect police officers but to fear them. Officers I grew up around were larger than life. As those before them, they risk their lives everyday. They have the power to arrest anyone for anything right or wrong and nothing could be done about it. "If anything happens--it's your fault," I was told. Cops are 100% right and the public is 100% wrong. Even when the cops are wrong they are right. That's just the way it is. Why? Then I started to think about it: Perception is reality.
People treat me differently when I am in my nurse's uniform. At times, they just walk up to me and ask medical questions whether I'm standing in line at the grocery store or sitting at lunch. My uniform implies a certain level of knowledge and accessibility. With my cousin, he is nearly a rock star in his army uniform. People give him 'knowing' looks, salutes, handshakes and hugs on occasion. But not one has yet to ask 'permission' to give the hugs or handshakes--they just do it and he's expected to take it. Why? The uniform.
Right or wrong, uniforms imply certain traits in those wearing them. My hair color and bust line gives some people certain ideas about me when I'm in my nurse's uniform. I 'decide' that a man or woman in a police officer uniform sees everyone and every situation as a life or death threat. While just the sight of an officer can make some folks "get an attitude," that officer is duty bound to protect and serve. Says so on the car!!
We want them running to the bank robbery in progress; stopping the car flying through the school zone; capturing an escaped convict; helping us in any way they can and to be happy to do it. The uniform they wear allows us to expect a hero in every police officer. To some however, it implies there's a doughnut shop nearby. Good cops/bad cops, good people/bad people. Fact is--you can't tell just by looking. They come in all shapes, sizes and...uniforms!
I was raised to not only respect police officers but to fear them. Officers I grew up around were larger than life. As those before them, they risk their lives everyday. They have the power to arrest anyone for anything right or wrong and nothing could be done about it. "If anything happens--it's your fault," I was told. Cops are 100% right and the public is 100% wrong. Even when the cops are wrong they are right. That's just the way it is. Why? Then I started to think about it: Perception is reality.
People treat me differently when I am in my nurse's uniform. At times, they just walk up to me and ask medical questions whether I'm standing in line at the grocery store or sitting at lunch. My uniform implies a certain level of knowledge and accessibility. With my cousin, he is nearly a rock star in his army uniform. People give him 'knowing' looks, salutes, handshakes and hugs on occasion. But not one has yet to ask 'permission' to give the hugs or handshakes--they just do it and he's expected to take it. Why? The uniform.
Right or wrong, uniforms imply certain traits in those wearing them. My hair color and bust line gives some people certain ideas about me when I'm in my nurse's uniform. I 'decide' that a man or woman in a police officer uniform sees everyone and every situation as a life or death threat. While just the sight of an officer can make some folks "get an attitude," that officer is duty bound to protect and serve. Says so on the car!!
We want them running to the bank robbery in progress; stopping the car flying through the school zone; capturing an escaped convict; helping us in any way they can and to be happy to do it. The uniform they wear allows us to expect a hero in every police officer. To some however, it implies there's a doughnut shop nearby. Good cops/bad cops, good people/bad people. Fact is--you can't tell just by looking. They come in all shapes, sizes and...uniforms!
Friday, November 7, 2014
I'm in the Same Room with Who?
Maryville College held its "Best in Blount County" awards ceremony last night honoring various achievements, citizens and veterans. It is a wonderful event at a beautiful campus in East Tennessee with a featured speaker that normally gets a little coverage on the local news but by the time the event actually started the guest speaker we were going to hear went from "motivational speaker" to "the man who shot bin Laden."
I thought there was a mistake. HAD to be a mistake. There just HAD to be more than one man by that name, right? How many 'Robert O'Neill's are there anyway? There was no way that the man named on the national news was the same one we were going to hear a bit later. Besides, hadn't someone else already claimed to have been the shooter? What difference would it make anyway?
As word spread about the man's identity, the event was taking on an different feel. A strange feel. Focus wasn't exactly on the awards anymore. How could it be? Honoring people while ignoring the 'elephant in the room'? Especially the 'elephant' who shot Osama bin Laden. Thankfully, the man was not going to address the question of who he was after all so nothing in the program was changed. Everyone was properly honored and not cast aside in favor of a secret identity having been revealed. It was like "we know but we're not going to say anything." At least his motivational speech had a lot more people paying attention.
Security seemed to be everywhere. Police. Dogs. Checking bags. What? Why do we need security? Oh right, the guy who shot bin Laden is here. Ok, Veterans Day is next week. Maybe that's why this information came out. Wait...is he in danger? Probably. Who knows that he is here tonight? Wait. Could we be in danger? Are we in danger? Have I seen too many movies?
Fact is, the majority in attendance that night were elderly veterans who'd served us in ways we both don't realize and take for granted. There seemed to be a dignity in these men and women that is reserved only for their generation. Honor. Service. Sacrifice. Humbling to be in their presence. While the outside world scrambles to get a look at the latest SEAL in the spotlight, these heroes are just as deserving.
I thought there was a mistake. HAD to be a mistake. There just HAD to be more than one man by that name, right? How many 'Robert O'Neill's are there anyway? There was no way that the man named on the national news was the same one we were going to hear a bit later. Besides, hadn't someone else already claimed to have been the shooter? What difference would it make anyway?
As word spread about the man's identity, the event was taking on an different feel. A strange feel. Focus wasn't exactly on the awards anymore. How could it be? Honoring people while ignoring the 'elephant in the room'? Especially the 'elephant' who shot Osama bin Laden. Thankfully, the man was not going to address the question of who he was after all so nothing in the program was changed. Everyone was properly honored and not cast aside in favor of a secret identity having been revealed. It was like "we know but we're not going to say anything." At least his motivational speech had a lot more people paying attention.
Security seemed to be everywhere. Police. Dogs. Checking bags. What? Why do we need security? Oh right, the guy who shot bin Laden is here. Ok, Veterans Day is next week. Maybe that's why this information came out. Wait...is he in danger? Probably. Who knows that he is here tonight? Wait. Could we be in danger? Are we in danger? Have I seen too many movies?
Fact is, the majority in attendance that night were elderly veterans who'd served us in ways we both don't realize and take for granted. There seemed to be a dignity in these men and women that is reserved only for their generation. Honor. Service. Sacrifice. Humbling to be in their presence. While the outside world scrambles to get a look at the latest SEAL in the spotlight, these heroes are just as deserving.
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